I am visited at night by a sleep paralysis
A cauchemar holds me down
Unable to scream
Unable to sleep
Unable to eat
I lay for hours and watch the sun rise again and again
And I struggle and shriek ‘ere the daybreak
The weather channel outside my window
Watch the rains swell, undulate and curl
What pretty Matisse's they make
Unearthly
Alas, some power we now possess
To add our touches to this ungodly mess
For which some responsibility
Must fall on us, not some deity
My mental stability has shattered
I am fading away
Shadowless and thin
My clothes hang from my new slight frame
Shattered by words of denial
I'm a psychiatrists playground
Of mixed thoughts turned upside down
Running over into a psychotic state
Confused, abused, denied
Our lives are mostly a constant evasion of ourselves
Being driven to madness with fright
Forbidden fruit, hidden eyes
Courtesies that I despise in me
Covered by the blind belief
Who am I, what and why?
Cause all I have left
Is my memories of yesterday
Oh, you abandoned me
You saved yourself and left me alone
How I suffer
Ridicule breathes a sigh
Hush, can you hear?
Enter and rejoice this pedestal
Where the rainbows hide
Scattered seed, buried lives
Mysteries of our disguise revolve
Circumstance will decide
These dreams they pass me by
The salvation I desire
Keeps getting me down
Cause this life is one huge farce
I can't breathe through this mask
Like a fool
From this oneself
Testify or tell
You're fooling us now
Unnamed feelings which form the substratum of our being
Although the effulgence of the moon is brilliant initially at night
In the daytime it fades away
Similarly, although the lotus is beautiful during the daytime
At night it closes
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened Into the rose garden
But, oh my friend, the face of my most dear
You are always bright and beautiful, both day and night
Inexplicable splendour of Ionian days
Therefore, to what can your face be compared?
His glance is so enchanting that it is like a dancing bumblebee
That bee has bitten the whorl of my heart
He is the primeval internal potency
He is her source of spiritual inspiration
Though inside his pretending
Crimes have been swept aside
Somewhere where they can forget
Don't laugh, but I love you still
I shadow myself in a veil of gloom
And without my sun, I turn to snow
And the grass doesn't grow here anymore
My beloved trees weep as I sit beneath them
Their leaves dance around my feet
There is no use my lovelies
She is beyond pained and hurt
They attempt to whisper and caress her
No use my dears
I could look outside my window every day
But you wouldn't be there
Did you realise forwhy this sight belongs to you?
Please, could you stay awhile to share my grief?
For it's such a lovely day
To have to always feel this way
And the time that I will suffer less
Is when I never have to wake
The blackness of darkness, forever
Like a husk from which all that was now has fled
And the masks that the monsters wear
To feed upon their prey
Take awhile to shed my grief
I'm always doubled up inside now
I have seen the dark universe yawning
Past the wan-mooned abysses of night
I have lived o’er my lifes without number
Taunted, cruelty
And if you locked me in the sun
Divine upper reaches
Still holding on
This ocean will not be grasped
All for nothing
Refuse to surrender
Strung out until ripped apart
Who dares, who dares to condemn
Can't make myself heard
No matter how hard I scream
Haunted I tell myself yet I still wander
It's tearing me apart
I'll never fall in love again
It's all over now
At last, relief
A mother's son has left me sheer
This love is silent now
Like the change of Philomela
By the barbarous King
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
5 days ago